Browse Tag by Toddlerhood
Kids and Money, Money Psychology

My Toddler’s Early Lessons of Money, Exchange and Delayed Gratification

My family and I recently visited Washington D.C. One day, my daughter and I had an engaging conversation on money, exchange and delayed gratification. And I’ve decided to share that conversation here in hope that you and your children might benefit.

The Situation

The conversation occurred as the three of us were walking along the National Mall, while passing by the carousel. My soon-to-be-3-years-old toddler loves carousels and Ferris wheels. As anticipated, Ruby asked me if she could ride the carousel. I fell conflicted. On the one hand, I wanted her to join the other kids in the carousel area and have an even greater time during our visit. On the other hand, we were pressed for time as we had already made plans with other family members for dinner and a nighttime bus tour.

early money delayed gratification lessons

I didn’t want to just respond to Ruby with a plain “no”. The three of us were having a great day, and I wasn’t going to let that moment ruin the beautiful memory. I had to quickly come up with a strategy to distract her, and give her enough reasoning to move along (both physically and emotionally). All meanwhile, conveying my words and wishes in a manner that she’d understand.

Moreover, I didn’t want to do a quick fix. I have learned that Ruby’s memory is pretty good nowadays. There were times in the past when I didn’t do a good job explaining to my daughter why she was denied of something, and she’d cry on and off for 30 plus minutes until her feelings got resolved. I wasn’t going to let something similar happen right there then.

The Conversation

Below detailed how the conversation went (in Mandarin):

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Kids and Money

Paying with an Unloaded Gift Card (and My Mother’s Day Moment)

In the past few months, my husband and I have been challenged trying to explain to a toddler how credit and debit cards work.

mothers day

At 31-months-old, our daughter gets eagerly (and impatiently) excited to swipe the card every time walk into a store. Resistance is almost futile. As soon as we get up to the cashier, she’d pull on our clothes and/or attempt all kinds of sweet gestures (how about a big hug while padding your back, daddy?) to get hold of the card. Certainly, her short stature doesn’t stop her from completing her mission.

Once she gets hold of the card, she’d tip-toe higher and higher until her toes are sore, trying to reach the card reader. Sometimes, the cashier couldn’t see her and wondered why we were not making a move to pay. Most of the time, we’d lift her up and help her swipe/insert the card into the card reader. To slow down the line even more, Ruby would insist she’s got the hang of it and refuse to let us help. My husband and I’d watch her missing her aim 98% of the time, until one of us finally loses it and grabs the card away from her so that we can get out of the line. This usually involves lots of crying. If you don’t know any better, the expression on Ruby’s face would typically tell a story of a child being robbed of her favorite belonging.

An interesting and amusing incident happened this past weekend as the three of us were shopping at Target. Every time we enter a store, the following conversation (or a similar version of) occurs:

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Kids and Money

Having Money Conversations with My 2-Years-Old Toddler

What was your money story like growing up? What did your parents and/or grandparents teach you about money? What kind of conversations would you like to have with your child about money? When is a good time to start teaching your child(ren) about money?

My Story with Money

While growing up in China, my parents didn’t talk about money with me and I didn’t ask them questions related to money. I had no reason to. They took care of all my needs (I wasn’t aware of the concept of allowance until I was in my early 20s). There wasn’t much I wanted other than buying snacks at school.

I was 11-years-old when I first stepped inside a bank (with my aunt). That was shortly after I immigrated to the U.S. On that same day, my aunt gave me 37 cents so I could learn the U.S. currency. It was a very memorable experience for me. That 37 cents seemed like a lot of money at the time.

At the age of 13, I started working part-time. By the time I graduated from high school, I had over $4000 in savings. I used some of that money to buy myself a laptop and a camera for college.

When I finished my undergraduate studies, I saved over $10,000 in my bank account. I had scholarships to cover all my tuition, fees and living expenses. I also worked part-time. With that amount of money in my bank account at age 22, I felt rich!

money talk with my toddler

My Husband’s Story with Money

When I was a child, my father was a truck driver and my mother worked at a photo lab. Neither of them had a high paying job, but both tried hard to make sure my brothers and I were taken care of financially. 

Somehow, I learned to be mindful about money as a young child. I recall going to the grocery store with my father and brothers when I was about 6 years-old and paying attention to the unit price of items. I even took items out of the cart that my younger brothers put in and placed them back onto the shelves. When I was 10 years-old, I helped my father balance his checkbook.

At 13-years-old, I had my first part-time job. I worked throughout high school and college. When I was in middle school, my father told me I’d have to find my way to fund my college education. Since that day, I was determined to become the validictorian in my high school class. And I did. I received a full scholarship ride to attend college. Once I graduated from college, I secured a full-time position with the company at which I was working seasonally.

The Money Story I Hope My Daughter Will Have

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Kids and Money

Five Ways My Toddler is an Early Conservationist

Her Daddy’s Influence

My husband is a minimalist. One of his life philosophies is we should consume to live and not live to consume. When he shops, he chooses quality over quantity. If time is not a constraint, he prefers to try to fix a broken object rather than getting a replacement. About 10 years ago, he stopped eating red meat. Each day, he’s mindful of the carbon footprints he leaves behind. I’m not there yet to meet him.

Her Mommy is Doing Her Part

I consider myself a conservationist in some areas of life, but not so much so in other areas. During the early years in our marriage, I had accumulated a lot of disposable stuff, which to this date, I’m still working to declutter. I’ve certainly gotten better in the past year. I used to think having a lot of things filling up the home is comforting. Thanks to my husband’s influence, I see the freedom living in a clutter-free home.

Sometimes, my husband and I still don’t see eye to eye on what we deem necessary. However, I do have some qualities my husband admires and he takes pride in that. He likes that (1) I am a smart shopper and that I negotiate prices; (2) I have general ideas of what most things should cost and I only buy when the price seems right; (3) I never feel like I have to have something right away (if it’s something I need, I look for alternatives); and (4) I think of purchases in terms of lifetime (amortized) costs. 

early conservationist

Together, We Are Stronger

I also don’t like to waste. My husband and I feel disgusted by the amount of stuff and food some people causally discard. This is very evident each time we go out to eat. Sometimes, we would see half a plate of food being left on the table that will soon go into the trash can. We also see a lot of waste in public places, too. Do people really need three pieces of napkin to dry two hands? Why take up two plastic bags when two heads of cabbages can easily fit into one bag? Why throw away an otherwise perfectly fine sweater when a yarn came loose? Does a toddler really need 10 pairs of pants to rotate through a season? The list can go on and on.

At home, we practice conservation. We aren’t perfect, but we try to use up stuff to the last drop if we can. When we do have to throw things away because they’ve gone bad, I don’t feel good inside. It’s not usually about the money, although that stinks, too (at our tax bracket, for each dollar we waste we would have to earn almost $1.75 extra). It’s the fundamentals of being wasteful that bothers me. “Why didn’t we eat the avocado the day before when it was still good? And now, we’ve to throw it in the trash can.”

I certainly want my daughter to grow up and be a conservationist but haven’t put much thought into teaching her about this concept or way of life. I was going to wait until she’s three or four. To my surprise, lately I’ve been noticing small behaviors from her that might show she’s already on her way.

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Kids and Money

8 Ways to Help Your Child Build Social Skills and Develop Social Competence

My Concern as a Parent Using Informal Day Care

I have been using informal day care (such as in-home care) since my daughter was 8-months-old. For a few months, it was just my daughter and her child care provider at home. On the one hand, I’m aware of the many benefits using informal care (both for my daughter and my marriage). My daughter enjoys the undivided attention she gets. She acquires amazing skills every day. All in all, we have strong reasons choosing to spend 35% of our monthly expenses on child care (I wrote about this in an older article).

On the other hand, being a professional working in the early care and early education field (I also did research in this area while in graduate school), I am always being fed with information about the long list of advantages sending my child to a formal day care setting (such as licensed day care and child care centers). One of the areas these settings generally do well in is providing enrolled children opportunities to build social skills throughout the day.

social skills

When it’s just my daughter and her child care provider, my daughter is missing out on those opportunities. As such, I think a lot about how to prepare my daughter for formal school (and the social world). How can I facilitate or structure my daughter’s day so that there are opportunities for her to interact in a group setting with her peers, meanwhile developing her social skills and reinforcing those skills.

Until my husband and I are ready to send our daughter to a formal day care where she’d be interacting with other children around her age, I am constantly looking for opportunities for her to be in a group setting.

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